Friday, July 13, 2012

The Journey (cont'd)


March 19, 2010

“Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.”  ~Genesis 3:7

Adam and Eve became aware and ashamed of their nakedness and took it upon themselves to provide for their perceived need, to cover up their vulnerability.  Without full confidence and belief in God’s love for them, they suddenly felt inadequate and self-conscious and prideful in regards to themselves and each other.  Their thoughts turned inward for the first time.  Without full confidence and belief in God’s love for me, I allow my inadequacies and pride and selfishness to take over.  My thoughts turn inward instead of upward and outward.

In what area of my life do I need to trust in God’s love and move forward? 

                As Ruthie (age 2) pushed her baby stroller, she became so fascinated with her own feet that time after time she would steer the stroller, or rather follow it, off the gravel road and get stuck in the grass.  I kept telling her to look up ahead and watch where she was going.  She would do this for a time and stay on the road, but the temptation to look down would always take over.  Ruthie’s issue was most likely more about being 2 ½ than it was about trusting me, but what about me?  Do I trust God and His ways?  Or do I get fascinated with myself and my ways, steering my life off God’s path and onto rougher terrain?

                Lately, I find myself like Ruthie, bouncing back and forth between walking confidently in God’s path, bumpy as it may be, trusting in His love and desire for my good, and turning my focus inward, allowing doubts and questions and desires to cloud my vision and turn my steps to more halting terrain.  Most of these doubts and desires have to do with our “family plan.”  Why am I 33 with only 1 child?  Why a miscarriage?  Why not more children?  Why?  Why?  Why?  But when I go down that road I find it is no road at all, but a dead end.  And I hear the voice of my Father saying, “Trust Me.  I love you.  My plans for you are good and full of hope.”  And I turn back toward His love and His path and keep my head up and find that I am surrounded by beauty—birds singing, trees sprouting leaves, blue sky, warm sun.  The road is bumpy, yes, but it is good, and it has a future.


Lord, help me to stay on Your path of love.  Do not let me get distracted by my own selfish desires, and thus follow my own false path.  Amen.

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