Friday, September 28, 2012

I Learned It By Watching You


“…be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” 
~Ephesians 5:1-2

As I prepared dinner earlier this week, Ruthie took up her usual place of watching me by standing on a chair at the kitchen counter.  She filled every void with her usual chatter as I inserted an occasional “uh-huh” in an attempt to feign my attentiveness.  Then, after a brief moment of silence, she said,
“So this is what you have to do to be a mom.  Cooking…washing dishes…  I’m learning how to be a mom by watching you.”
Gulp.  She had no idea what sobering words she uttered to my very soul.  All I had done and said in her short five years of life came rushing at me in a sort of end-of-life experience.  She’s watching my every move.  Studying it, even.  Consciously. 
O, Lord.  I pray I am a mom worth watching.  Help me to walk in the light of Your love, imitating You, studying You, so that in watching me, Ruthie sees You.  Please forgive my feigned attentiveness to You and Your ways.  Please cleanse the stench of my selfishness so that my life as a mom might be a sweet-smelling sacrifice to You.  Amen.

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Journey--January 2011


January 17, 2011

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’  Whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.  You will also defile the covering of your images of silver, and the ornament of your molded images of gold.  You will throw them away as an unclean thing; you will say to them, ‘Get away!’  Then He will give the rain for your seed with which you sow the ground…”  ~Isaiah 30:21-23

 Everywhere I go, in everything I do, I hear a gentle whisper in my heart guiding me to foster care or adoption.  Scripture, pastors’ sermons, friends’ conversations—even if unrelated—I hear it, as though God is saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”  And then I read Isaiah 30:22—about defiling idols and saying to them “Get away!”  Just this last week I found myself on my knees asking God to take away my desires for another baby—something I’ve longed for always, maybe even an idol.  And yet, my husband is not where I’m at.  If this is to be our path, I pray his heart would change also.  Continue to guide me, Lord, into Your ways.  Lead me not astray.  Amen.

 
January 21, 2011

“Look among the nations and watch—
Be utterly astounded!
For I will work a work in your days
Which you would not believe, though it were told you.”
~Habakkuk 1:5

 

Lord,

I do not know what You have in store, and I do not feel adequate to accomplish any great task, but I know that You are God, and I know that all things are possible in You.  So I give my life, my future, my talents, my desires to You that You might use me for Your purposes, for Your glory, to accomplish Your great plans in Your power.  Amen.

 
January 26, 2011

Exodus 14

When the children of Israel were up against the Red Sea, it seemed they were out of options.  The Egyptians were in pursuit and they had nowhere to go.  And yet with God, anything is possible.  He is not a God limited to our world, to our understanding of the possible options.  He makes a way where there is no way.

Lately, I have felt boxed in—trapped by my own dreams and desires.  The evil of selfishness, sadness and grief pursuing me from one direction and the vast, ominous sea of the unknown future hemming me in on the other.  But God has plans and purposes that I cannot see or even possibly imagine.  I don’t know what He will do, but I know I don’t have to plunge into the cold waters alone.  I know His plan will be a good one.  Maybe He’ll part the sea, or maybe we’ll walk on the water together.  Whatever it is, My God is my strength and my song, not my circumstances.  He is my salvation, He is my God and I will praise Him.

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Journey~November-December 2010


November 11, 2010

“…nor [let us] complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer.”  ~1 Corinthians 10:10

Lord, Please forgive me for my complaining attitude.  Please forgive me for always wanting more than I have.  Help me to be satisfied with You alone, and help me to focus on how I can give You to others.  Open the doors for foster care or adoption if that is in Your will for my life.  If I can show Your love to any little child, help me do that.  Keep my mind on You, and not on me.  Help me to allow You to truly be Lord of my life.  Amen.

 
November 24, 2010

“Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.”  ~Matthew 18:5

“But Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven’.”  ~Matthew 19:14

Dear Father,

I have gone from being completely opposed to foster care and/or adoption to now desiring it and dwelling on it.  I fear it, but I also fear the world for those children who don’t have loving homes, who don’t know You.  Every time I think of Your love, I think of all those children who don’t have anyone to love them, to meet their one most wanted desire, the one You created in them, the one they were created for—to be loved.  If it is Your will, Lord, if it is what You desire for our family, allow us to love them, to bring them to You.  Give this same desire to Dave, give a loving heart to Ruthie.  Your will be done, Father.  May I rest in the knowledge of Your perfection.  Amen.


December 10, 2010

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”  ~Matthew 13:44

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~Matthew 6:21

“Now behold, one came and said to Him, ‘Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?’  So He said to him, ‘Why do you call me good?  No one is good but One, that is, God.  But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.’ …The young man said to Him, ‘All these things I have kept from my youth.  What do I still lack?’  Jesus said to him, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.’  But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possession.” ~Matthew 19:16-22

Father, You are the only truly good thing, and all things come through You, by You and are for You.  Show me how to make You the only thing in my life.  Show me how to make You my treasure.  Burn away my desires until all that is left is You.  I give up everything I want and give You everything I have.  Show me what to do now.  Be King of my life; make my heart Your kingdom.  Rule and reign and defeat anything that is not of You.  I believe You are God, and I believe You are good.  Help me to be strong, defeat my tendency to fall back to my own desires.  Empty me and fill me with You.  Show me what I can do for You.  Use me for Your glory.  I give You my desire for more children—take it from me.  Free me to be whoever You choose, to do whatever You choose.  Light my path; show me the way.  Give me clarity of purpose.  Walk with me step by step.  Amen.

 
December 14, 2010

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also.”  ~Hebrews 13:2-3

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.  For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’.”  ~Hebrews 13: 5

“But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.”  ~Hebrews 13:16

“Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.”  Hebrews 13:20-21

Lord, If it be Your will for us to do foster care or adoption, work that out in our lives.  Conquer any obstacle, enable us to share what You have so graciously given.  Work in our hearts to do Your will.  And in the meantime, may You be enough to fill our hearts and our house.  Let me not look to any other thing but You.  Amen.


December 21, 2010

“This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”  ~John 11:4

 Father, Change my attitude that You may be glorified.  Change my focus that You may be revealed in me.  Draw me near to You.  Help me to follow You.  Help me to hear Your voice alone and be deaf to any other.  Seal me into Your bosom and may I never stray.  Amen.
 
December 23, 2010
“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.” ~John 15:7
“…but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.  And in that day you will ask Me nothing.  Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you.  Until now you have asked nothing in My name.  Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.”  ~John 16:22-24
Am I asking amiss, Lord, for another child?  Change my desire, if that is so.  Align my heart with Yours that I might not ask what You do not will.  Make my joy complete in You.  Open my eyes every day to Your fullness, to the joy that comes only from knowing You.  Amen.
 
December 31, 2010
Luke 19: the story of Zacchaeus
All Zacchaeus wanted was to see Jesus, so he cleared away the physical obstacles to make that happen.  But Jesus had a greater plan, a deeper desire.  He saw in Zacchaeus a willing heart, a desperate soul.  He sought out Zacchaeus; He saw him, loved him, accepted him, acknowledged him and in response, Zacchaeus cleared away the obstacles from his heart.
I have met Jesus and welcomed His love, but have I truly allowed Him to change me?  Have I truly let go of what I hold dearest?
In Zacchaeus’ framework, the tree was the solution to seeing Jesus.  But Jesus said, no, come out of the tree, come out of your own way of doing things for I’m about to step into your life and rock your world.  I’m going to show you a whole new way.
Come into my heart, Lord, and help me let go.  I know I am holding on too tightly to my own dreams.  Help me to hold onto You alone.  Amen.